Orchid Show

Spring feels like it’s here and one of the first things I thought of when the sun hit was the orchid show at the botanical garden. I went last year at night and was curious how different it would be in the daytime. Both are magical and I refuse to decide which I like better. Maybe I’ll alternate day and night trips every year. Or maybe I’ll have to go again. What I did enjoy was how empty it was on a Thursday afternoon. The trek up to the Bronx was instantly worth it as soon as the humid air hit me. What a perfect place to thaw out, surrounded by some of nature’s finest work. My obsession with orchids kind of snuck up on me. They aren’t typically bouquet flowers so I don’t think of them as a ‘favorite flower.’ But if I could have a house filled with forever flowering orchids, I would! I love how long they last and if you treat them right, they flower every year. Even the thick leaves are nice in the meantime. I’m so happy to have another seasonal thing to look forward to.

xo

Mariamma

Loves a Collage

Today I’m sleepy before noon and luckily I can take a nap. A nap will be had. I am on a bit a reading kick and just started the second book in a series of 5…6 books? When you find a series you like it is truly the gift that keeps on giving. I have had one of the most tiring weeks I’ve had in a long time, juggling quite a bit, but I can catch my breath a bit today. I have somehow managed to still make it to birthday parties, to have quality time with friends, and even a night out. But today I will be in bed by nine o’clock, curled up with my book, and I’m already looking forward to it.

xx

Mariamma

feb 1.

cozy spaces created in otherwise cold warehouse rooms

I walked in freezing sunlight to a café pop-up in my neighborhood and sipped on a hot latte and later, an iced matcha

I watched the folks chatter and visit and work intently on their creative endeavors in between me working on mine

humans

we’re so strange

luckily I like strange things

somehow the lighting is warm and the concrete seems soft and I swear february 1st is a new start

just like all the days before perhaps

this week I’ll dance,

which is my tried and true medicine

grounding me in my entirety

making me remember something the earth knows and just lets me borrow

and on days like this, I wear red, even if it’s three layers deep

because I know that’s a piece of the puzzle

Jade's Birthday Tea Party

Goth Ball

Oh to be queer!

I can’t begin to tell you how amazing this community has been and how I found it at just the right time … or maybe I can. I have been lucky enough to grow up in two places, a small city nestled in a valley in Western Montana and a town surrounded by farm fields and orchards in Northern California. Montanans have a hearty, straight-to-the-point air about them. They have the cowboy boots like the South—but they trade them for snow boots for a huge percentage of the year. It’s a place where people are kind, not nice, a distinction I first contemplated after living in New York City. There’s no syrupy sweet southern charm or flaky California promises. New Yorkers will carry baby strollers down subway stairs without uttering a word and Montanans will pull your car out of an icy ditch in similar silence. Winters in Northern California are much milder than Montana’s, but still cold and rainy enough that we had an indoor P.E. unit during winter in jr. high (although climate change has made it less rainy). We would change into our uniform gym clothes and learn square and line dances in the gym. Dancer that I am, I loved it—minus the sweaty boy hands. Thinking back… if we could have had female partners it would have been an entirely positive experience. Fast-forward, I’m out of the closet (finally) in New York City and find a huge community of queer people who line dance more days of the week than they don’t. It truly feels like the Universe plopped this into my lap right when it knew I needed it. I couldn’t have blended all these little pieces of culture and my personal history together in a more poetic way and things like this make me believe in a higher power. It’s that deep. It’s that joyful.

It’s magic.

These photos were taken at Goth Ball—a special Halloween edition of the normal line dance night with Stud Country. It was a lot more crowded than usual and I danced a little less than usual, but the outfits made it worth the trek. Look at all these beautiful queers dancing in their country finest!

Sincerely,

your fave lezbo

M

Mountain Dew

I have not sat down and really tried to write a blogpost in a very long time. Being in grad school to become a therapist has meant reevaluating, reimagining my relationship with the internet. When I think of the Internet, capital “I,” I don’t have good associations. But my little corner of the internet, lowercase “i,” has been such a beautiful creative outlet. I originally started blogging because I loved photography and writing and I wanted a page I could curate that would be all my own. Facebook and Myspace were the only social media outlets at the time and bombarding people photos in their feeds felt a little annoying. A blog was somewhere separate people could seek out if they wanted to, but it was mostly for me. My first blog was called If My Fingers Were Feathers - a little phrase that came to me, sitting in my dome (iykyk - UC Davis) in college. I was going to create a podcast with the same name this year but I am unsure how to navigate sharing on the internet if I will have clients that can find me talking about whatever life experiences or opinions I might share there. While it is not mind-blowing that our therapists have lives of their own and I am not one to see what I can find about my own therapist, I know some people are more investigative. Photos are somewhat safe to me. You can imagine what this hike looked like, what happened before and after, how I felt with the mountain dew beneath my bare feet - all without me having to tell you anything. Even though there is more of your imagination involved and I am not setting the record straight, it feels safer. It’s not about me and my opinions, it’s about you and how the photos make you feel. It’s about art. And art will always be top of my priority list. Creating just feeds my soul and I’ll figure out what that looks like moving forward.

A Day

I walked down a familiar street until it wasn’t familiar

A park with a weeping willow, she knows

Charged my camera battery behind the counter and managed not to forget it

Chai tea and heartfelt conversation

Chappell Roan walked by

She made eye contact

Crazy

And then she canceled all her shows

Singular street style photo

Dinner because I love me and I feed me well

Cristo Redentor & Pão de Açúcar

Parque Lage

Rio de Janeiro | Views From an Ipanema Apt.

What a dream … I have so much to do today, juggling house chores and so much writing and reading for grad school. Looking at these photos makes me take a deep breath though. More photos to come <3

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Que sonho… Tenho tanta coisa para fazer hoje, fazer malabarismos com as tarefas domésticas e tanta escrita e leitura para a pós-graduação. Olhar para essas fotos me faz respirar fundo. Mais fotos virão <3

Mariamma

Thomas

Thomas is one of my oldest friends. We like to say that we’ve lived parallel lives. My grandpa and his dad shared a private medical office, we went to high school together, both lived in Co-ops in college and studied abroad in Brazil. In 2019 we both happened to move to New York City, him for grad school and me to be based here as a flight attendant. We have spent every Thanksgiving together since (except this year!). I love him dearly and think of him as family. His graduate studies were in Divinity, with an emphasis in Buddhism, hence the loving glances at Buddha. This was originally meant to be a large creative project that Thomas so sweetly said yes to during the summer. I’m glad we could complete this part … and a second part will be in video coming soon!

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Thomas é um dos meus amigos mais antigos. Gostamos de dizer que vivemos vidas paralelas. Meu avô e o pai dele dividiam um consultório médico particular, fizemos o ensino médio juntos, ambos moraram em cooperativas na faculdade e estudaram no exterior, no Brasil. Em 2019, nós dois nos mudamos para a cidade de Nova York, ele para fazer pós-graduação e eu para trabalhar aqui como comissário de bordo. Passamos todos os dias de Ação de Graças juntos desde então (exceto este ano!). Eu o amo muito e penso nele como uma família. Seus estudos de pós-graduação foram em Divindade, com ênfase no Budismo, daí os olhares amorosos para Buda. Este foi originalmente concebido para ser um grande projeto criativo ao qual Thomas disse sim tão docemente durante o verão. Estou feliz por termos concluído esta parte… e uma segunda parte estará em vídeo em breve!

xoxo

Mariamma

I Dyed My Hair!

Hi babes! Liv and I were watching back the ‘Christmas in Montana’ vlog and there is a section where my hair is wet and looks almost black. It sparked a talk of dyeing my hair. At one point, years ago, I bounced around the idea of dyeing my hair black. All my friends at the time talked me out of it. Liv green lighted the idea but asked if I’d ever considered red. I don’t know much of dyeing hair, but I do know it’s very hard to go lighter after you’ve gone very dark so I figured if I was starting this hair experimentation era I should start lighter. I’m so glad I did! I really love the red. It’s only been a couple days … I haven’t even washed it yet. I am still forgetting too. Every time I see myself in a mirror I have a split second of surprise. And the two people who cut and colored my hair I met via a Street Style Stroll. I took their photos in the Fall I believe, outside of the salon they both work in. Thank you so much to Gabby & Will!

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Olá, amores! Liv e eu estávamos assistindo ao vlog ‘Christmas in Montana’ e há uma seção onde meu cabelo está molhado e parece quase preto. Isso provocou uma conversa sobre pintar meu cabelo. A certa altura, anos atrás, tive a ideia de pintar meu cabelo de preto. Todos os meus amigos da época me dissuadiram. Liv gostou a ideia, mas perguntou se eu já havia considerado o vermelho. Não sei muito sobre tingir o cabelo, mas sei que é muito difícil ficar mais claro depois de ficar muito escuro, então pensei que se estivesse começando essa era de experimentação com cabelo, deveria começar mais claro. Estou tão feliz por ter feito isso! Eu realmente amo o vermelho. Faz apenas alguns dias... ainda nem lavei. Ainda estou esquecendo também. Cada vez que me vejo no espelho tenho uma fração de segundo de surpresa. E as duas pessoas que cortaram e pintaram meu cabelo eu conheci em um Street Style Stroll. Tirei as fotos deles no outono, acredito, fora do salão em que os dois trabalham. Muito obrigado a Gabby e Will!

xo,

Mariamma

New Moon

I haven’t taken proper outfit photos in a long time. It felt so fun to play dress up and snap these. I have been so immersed in my YouTube world, photo has taken a backseat. Even my Street Style Strolls have been few and far between. I had physical therapy today, my second session at a new place. I really like my PT girl and she gave me a show recommendation today about a bunch of gay pirates??! I am gearing up for grad school which will begin in just over a month. I’ve been trying to coordinate a time to meet with my advisor in-person to sort through any of my enrollment and financial aid questions. I’m hoping I can meet with her today. The kids I babysit for are in the process of applying to private schools for next year so this week has been a bit different than most. Also, Liv and I have been receiving a lot of mystery packages this week and then they reappear wrapped under the ‘tree.’ Liv wrapped my giant monstera plant in Christmas lights yesterday. I thought I bought some silver wrapping paper but this morning I discovered it is clear while trying to wrap the most recent package arrival. I’ve got to remember to grab a new roll on my way home.

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Faz muito tempo que não tiro fotos de roupas adequadas. Foi tão divertido brincar de vestir e tirar isso. Estive tão imerso no meu mundo do YouTube que as fotos ficaram em segundo plano. Até meus passeios de estilo de rua têm sido poucos e raros. Fiz fisioterapia hoje, minha segunda sessão em um local novo. Eu gosto muito da minha PT e ela me deu uma recomendação de programa hoje sobre um bando de piratas gays??! Estou me preparando para a pós-graduação, que começará em pouco mais de um mês. Tenho tentado marcar um horário para me encontrar pessoalmente com meu orientador para resolver qualquer uma das minhas dúvidas sobre inscrição e ajuda financeira. Espero poder me encontrar com ela hoje. As crianças de quem sou babá estão em processo de inscrição em escolas particulares para o próximo ano, então esta semana foi um pouco diferente da maioria. Além disso, Liv e eu temos recebido muitos pacotes misteriosos esta semana e então eles reaparecem embrulhados debaixo da ‘árvore’. Liv embrulhou minha planta monstera gigante com luzes de Natal ontem. Pensei ter comprado papel de embrulho prateado, mas esta manhã descobri que está claro ao tentar embrulhar o pacote mais recente que chegou. Preciso me lembrar de pegar um pãozinho novo no caminho para casa.

xoxo

Mariamma

A Witchy Brunch

Today was a crisp autumn day. After waiting for Liv to wake up (a whopping 3.5 hours later than me) we headed to brunch. Our first attempt was my favorite restaurant in Brooklyn but the wait was going to be 45 minutes and we were much too hungry for that so we went down the street to a place that has great food and usually a good DJ. It didn’t disappoint and we sat amid the cobwebs and other Halloween decorations. We are off to a Halloween party tonight, dressed as William Turner and Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. It will be fun to me makeup-less for the night (minus drawn on facial hair).

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Hoje foi um dia fresco de outono. Depois de esperar Liv acordar (3,5 horas depois de mim), fomos para o brunch. Nossa primeira tentativa foi meu restaurante favorito no Brooklyn, mas a espera seria de 45 minutos e estávamos com muita fome para isso, então descemos a rua até um lugar que tem boa comida e geralmente um bom DJ. Não decepcionou e sentamos em meio às teias de aranha e outras decorações de Halloween. Vamos para uma festa de Halloween esta noite, vestidos como William Turner e Jack Sparrow de Piratas do Caribe. Vai ser divertido para mim sem maquiagem durante a noite (menos os pelos faciais desenhados).

beijos

Mariamma

Street Style Stroll

A Saturday stroll to the library! I woke up last weekend and decided I wanted to meander towards Park Slope, hit up the farmer’s market, and return an overdue library book. It’s about an hour and a half walk which never feels very long once I’m on my way. I’m always a little amazed at how open and kind all of the street style subjects are. Y’all make my day every time. I am a little awkward when other people take my photo so I am always flattered and excited when others allow me to photograph them. In these interactions we bridge a gap created by our busy lives, shyness, urban anonymity etc. and it always makes me feel more connected to the city.

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Um passeio de sábado até a biblioteca! Acordei no fim de semana passado e decidi que queria caminhar até Park Slope, ir ao mercado do fazendeiro e devolver um livro da biblioteca atrasado. É cerca de uma hora e meia de caminhada, o que nunca parece muito longo quando estou a caminho. Sempre fico um pouco surpreso com o quão abertos e gentis são todos os assuntos de estilo de rua. Vocês fazem o meu dia sempre. Fico um pouco estranho quando outras pessoas tiram minhas fotos, então fico sempre lisonjeado e animado quando outras pessoas me permitem fotografá-las. Nessas interações preenchemos uma lacuna criada por nossas vidas ocupadas, timidez, anonimato urbano etc. e isso sempre me faz sentir mais conectado à cidade.

beijinho

Mariamma

Street Style Stroll

Hi loves. On Saturday Liv and I brunched in East Williamsburg and Street Style Strolled to and from a restaurant named Ainslie. It had a gorgeous, lush back patio filled with large groups gathered for birthday brunches and the like. Pothos vines cascaded down from large copper pots on the ceiling and climbed up the exposed brick on the walls. Saturday afternoon is such a nice time of day to catch folks in their NYC finest. I took the last few photos on Sunday afternoon after a really delicious meal at a black owned restaurant named Sweet Science. It had a dj and amazing shrimp and grits. I had physical therapy this morning down the street from the little cafe I am currently in. PT has been more painful than usual unfortunately. I go back on Wednesday. I’m hoping icing my shoulder the next couple days will help whatever flare-up is occurring. Have a great day!

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Oi amores. No sábado, Liv e eu tomamos um brunch em East Williamsburg e Street Style passeamos de e para um restaurante chamado Ainslie. Tinha um lindo e exuberante pátio nos fundos, cheio de grandes grupos reunidos para brunches de aniversário e coisas do gênero. Videiras Pothos caíam em cascata de grandes potes de cobre no teto e subiam pelos tijolos expostos nas paredes. A tarde de sábado é uma ótima hora do dia para ver as pessoas no seu melhor estilo de Nova York. Tirei as últimas fotos no domingo à tarde, depois de uma refeição realmente deliciosa em um restaurante de propriedade de negros chamado Sweet Science. Tinha um DJ e camarão e grãos incríveis. Fiz fisioterapia esta manhã na rua do pequeno café em que estou atualmente. O PT tem sido mais doloroso do que o normal, infelizmente. Volto na quarta-feira. Espero que colocar gelo em meu ombro nos próximos dias ajude qualquer surto que esteja ocorrendo. Tenha um ótimo dia!

beijos

Mariamma

Street Style Stroll

I don’t think y’all understand the joy the these Street Style Strolls bring me. The sideways are always lively, a constant display of the birth of trends and the rebellion against them. New Yorkers are some of the most approachable and authentic people I have encountered and it’s one of the many things that makes me so happy to call NYC home. The reason I love to stroll and capture street style along the way is that it demonstrates the diversity in aesthetics that coexist and make this city the vibrant and constantly evolving hub that it is famous for being. Thank you to everyone who let me photograph them. Y’all are gorgeous!

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Acho que vocês não entendem a alegria que esses Street Style Strolls me trazem. As laterais estão sempre vivas, uma exibição constante do nascimento das tendências e da rebelião contra elas. Os nova-iorquinos são algumas das pessoas mais acessíveis e autênticas que encontrei e é uma das muitas coisas que me deixa muito feliz em chamar Nova York de lar. A razão pela qual adoro passear e capturar o estilo de rua ao longo do caminho é que isso demonstra a diversidade estética que coexiste e faz desta cidade o centro vibrante e em constante evolução que é famosa por ser. Obrigado a todos que me deixaram fotografá-los. Vocês são lindos!

xoxo

Mariamma

Mallorca Countryside

I am in the middle of watching the Brasil v Panama Women’s World Cup match. So far 3-0 … I love it. Here are quite a few photos from a lovely day in the Mallorca countryside. We got out of the city for a little jazz show under the stars, but first had a little walking expedition to the nearby town to get some dinner. The nine days I spent on the not-so-little Spanish island were quite dreamy. I completed and uploaded a NYC vlog yesterday so that I can start focusing on all the footage from Mallorca. It will be a fun one! I hope you’ve all had a wonderful weekend. Happy Monday!

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Estou assistindo ao jogo da Copa do Mundo Feminina Brasil x Panamá. Até agora 3 a 0... Eu adoro isso. Aqui estão algumas fotos de um lindo dia na zona rural de Maiorca. Saímos da cidade para um pequeno show de jazz sob as estrelas, mas primeiro fizemos uma pequena expedição a pé até a cidade vizinha para jantar. Os nove dias que passei na não tão pequena ilha espanhola foram bastante sonhadores. Concluí e carreguei um vlog de NYC ontem para poder começar a focar em todas as filmagens de Mallorca. Será uma diversão! Espero que todos tenham tido um ótimo final de semana. Feliz segunda-feira!

xo

Mariamma

NYC Pride Parade 2023

Hiiii! Well, it’s almost a wrap on this lovely Pride Month. I am so glad I hauled my camera into Manhattan for the amazing Pride Parade this past Sunday. The vibes were immaculate ✨ Thank you to anyone who let me take their photo! As cheesy as it is, I feel so PROUD to be a part of this beautiful (and I mean beautiful!) community.

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Oiii! Bem, é quase o fim deste adorável Mês do Orgulho. Estou tão feliz por ter levado minha câmera para Manhattan para a incrível Parada do Orgulho no último domingo. As vibrações foram imaculadas ✨ Obrigado a quem me deixou tirar sua foto! Por mais cafona que seja, sinto-me tão ORGULHOSA de fazer parte dessa comunidade linda (realmente linda!).

gay smooches

Mariamma

Kate Spade Earrings

Earrings by Kate Spade NY | Rocksbox.com

Hi loves! Well, an instagram ad for Rocksbox got me last week with a photo of this Kate Spade collection. Rocksbox is a subscription jewelry company that lends you jewelry for the month and all the money you pay can be put towards buying anything you don’t want to send back. Most of my jewelry is thrifted and so I don’t often ad to my collection. I thought this would be a fun way to play with more accessories. This month I chose these earrings plus a couple items that I wore to the Pride Parade on Sunday. I like everything I got a little too much though, so we’ll see how I do with sending it back.

Yesterday Liv and I finalized some very exciting travel plans. It will be our first time traveling internationally together and I am so excited. If you watched my last video, my birthday vlog, you saw that I got a VERY legit camera for filming and I am so excited to use it on this upcoming trip. I had a bit of a weird day yesterday; I woke up just feeling a bit off and then my computer crashed and I had to head to an Apple store in Queens for a last minute tech appointment. They got it all sorted but I had to completely erase and re-download everything. The good news is that I have plenty of storage space now, but the bad news is that I forgot to backup my Lightroom presets so I edited these photos from scratch. Not a bad job right?! It’s nice to see that I have gained some real skill and I don’t need to rely so heavily on things I used to feel were a necessity.

I hope you are all having a great start to the week. I have about an hour until I have to head home for therapy online so I’m going to dive into editing the Pride Parade photos

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Oi amores! Bem, um anúncio no instagram da Rocksbox me trouxe semana passada com uma foto dessa coleção da Kate Spade. A Rocksbox é uma empresa de joias por assinatura que empresta joias para você durante o mês e todo o dinheiro que você paga pode ser usado para comprar qualquer coisa que você não queira devolver. A maioria das minhas joias é barata e, portanto, não costumo adicionar à minha coleção. Achei que seria uma forma divertida de brincar com mais acessórios. Este mês escolhi estes brincos mais algumas peças que usei na Pride Parade no domingo. Eu gosto de tudo que tenho um pouco demais, então vamos ver como me saio com o envio de volta.

Ontem Liv e eu finalizamos alguns planos de viagem muito emocionantes. Será nossa primeira viagem internacional juntos e estou muito animado. Se você assistiu ao meu último vídeo, meu vlog de aniversário, viu que ganhei uma câmera MUITO legítima para filmar e estou muito animado para usá-la nesta próxima viagem. Tive um dia meio estranho ontem; Acordei me sentindo um pouco mal e então meu computador travou e tive que ir a uma loja da Apple no Queens para um compromisso técnico de última hora. Eles resolveram tudo, mas eu tive que apagar completamente e baixar tudo novamente. A boa notícia é que tenho muito espaço de armazenamento agora, mas a má notícia é que esqueci de fazer backup das minhas predefinições do Lightroom, então editei essas fotos do zero. Não é um trabalho ruim, certo?! É bom ver que ganhei alguma habilidade real e não preciso confiar tanto em coisas que costumava sentir que eram uma necessidade.

Espero que todos tenham um ótimo começo de semana. Tenho cerca de uma hora até voltar para casa para a terapia online, então vou mergulhar na edição das fotos da Parada do Orgulho

xoxo

Mariamma

And P.S. If you are having an off-day like I did yesterday, I highly recommend listening to a guided affirmation meditation. I just found one on Spotify and partook for 15 minutes and it made me feel so much better <3